Why Aren't You Painting?
Updated: Jun 21, 2019
I have been creative my entire life. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being an artist. When I was in high school, I was always coming up with the most out-there, colorful ideas during art class. In college, I fearlessly explored different creative outlets. But somewhere between college and a few years ago, I lost that creative freedom. In fact, I was so caught up with jobs, break-ups, bills, student loans, goals, and everyday life, that it wasn't until a few months ago that I realized that I hadn't even doodled on a notepad in years.
"Alright," I'll draw something." I thought.
But when I tried, nothing came out. My hand was frozen. I couldn't do it. "Why is this so difficult now?" I asked myself.
A thought immediately popped into my head in response, "If it's not good enough to sell or hang up or make a living with, it's not worth doing. It's just bad art and that's embarrassing."
What? Art was always something that I did for myself without even thinking. It was never something I did for someone else's approval. How did this thought develop?
I realized that somewhere in the maelstrom of "adulting," I convinced myself that if something wasn't perfect, it wasn't worth completing. What I didn't realize was how severely that belief had stunted my ability to not only create art, but also to creatively brainstorm for my business. If the idea wasn't immediately perfect, I wouldn't even entertain it. If the words didn't flow perfectly on the first draft, the blog remained unwritten. I had completely stunted my ability to function with an unrealistic and harmful demand for perfection.
Before I realized this, I was feeling stuck - like the kind of stuck where you start to try to tackle your to-do list but the first item on the list leads you down a rabbit hole of other to-do's until you are right back where you started. Every time I tried to do anything, I felt like I was spinning my wheels.
Finally, I received a sign from the Universe. A friend of mine gave me a reading with her Goddess Guidance cards. The card read, "You're receiving this card because you're most likely feeling stuck or blocked." Ummm...yes! I kept reading. "You are being guided to engage in an art or craft without delay. This artistic endeavor does not need to be seen by others. It's the act of creative expression - not the form it takes - that's important here."
If that wasn't a sign, I was pretty sure I would never know what a sign was. So I put my shoes on and went to the store to buy a sketchbook, water colors and crayons. I spent the night painting and coloring. Knowing that these creations were purely for me freed me. I felt like a little kid, gleefully choosing colors and unleashing her creativity onto paper. Sure enough, the NEXT DAY, all the pieces of my business where I felt stuck started to fall into place. Perspectives that I had completely missed previously seemed so obvious. I was in creative flow.
If you haven't already heard, I will be hosting a Coloring Hike Event next month. Make sure you register - coloring supplies included but, of course, feel free to bring your own as well!
I can't wait to get creative with all of you!